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Tuesday, November 9, 2010
The Importance of Your Child's Name
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| ::sniffles:: 19 weeks prego w/ my 2nd born |
Nonetheless, there is one aspect of preparing for baby that might be the most daunting of all and that's naming the baby. Mom has her ideas and Dad has his. Then there are the family members and in-laws that often want to chime in. Should the child's name pay homage to a parent, grandparent or dear friend?
The name game can take on an added facet when the couple is multicultural or even interracial. Should the name honor both heritages? Will there be a language or cultural barrier when non-English speaking family members try to embrace the name? These are valid concerns to think about and I know families confronted with this challenge. My own family dealt with this.
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| An aerial view of my super preggo 7mth belly. lol |
In a recent article on Madame Noire, the editor tackled the question of whether black parents are wrongly attacked for choosing ethnic names. In all honesty, some of the ethnic, reclaim our African roots, names some black parents choose for their children merit a raised eyebrow. I realize the black empowerment movement of the 60s that lead to many black parents opting for more Afro-centric names, was an effort to shed "slave" connotations and regain ethnic pride. I get all that. However, personally I'm not on that bandwagon that feels we need to go back to Africa to gain pride and purpose. Quite frankly, Africans aren't thinking about us and rightfully so. It's high time blacks in the western hemisphere started concentrating on what we have on this side of the globe and work harder to build on that. ::stepping off soapbox and setting down mic::
Coming back around from that tangent I went on, when I encounter names like Bacardi for a boy or Taquila for a girl, I'm left scratching my head. What was this black parent thinking when they named their child? Was the child named in remembrance of a night of too much alcohol and wild times? ::shakes head and chuckles::
I remember reading an article about baby names shortly after President Obama took office. There was a surge in black parents naming their children Barack. Was it whimiscal thinking to believe that if President Obama could achieve the most prestigious position in the land with his name, that all children will have the same success? I really don't know...
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| I'm seeing future surgeons or world leaders right here! |
Here a list of some of the names that potentially receive discriminate responses by potential employers:
Girls: Aisha, Keisha, Tamika, Lakisha, Tanisha, Latoya, Kenya, Latonya and Ebony
Boy: Rasheed, Tremayne, Kareem, Darnell, Tyrone, Hakim, Jamal, Leroy, Jermaine
Here's a list of some of the names that receive the highest responses:
Girls: Emily, Anne, Jill, Allison, Laurie, Sarah, Meredith, Carrie, Kristen,
Boys: Todd, Neil, Geoffrey, Brett, Brendan, Greg, Matthew, Jay, Brad
I don't know if my kids' names will be a stumbling block or a door opener to opportunities for them. In my mind's eye I see my kids doing great things when they're adults. I'm claiming it for them and I try my best to nurture a successful attitude in them. But truly at the end of the day, regardless of their names, I just want them to be happy confident, happy individual, with good values.
So what say you, my lovelies? What inspired you to name your child his/her name? Did you think about how it could impact them in life?
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12 comments:
Beautiful beautiful boys you have. I agree that you should want what's best for your kids. That does begin with envisioning their future. I didn't think much about how my kids names would affect them. But I didn't name them crazy names too. I've definitely heard some names on kids that made me wonder if the kid was named in a drunken stupor (sp?). LOL
I definitely agree that you want your child to have a name that wont cause them an unnecessary stress!
My son's first name, Nasir, is Arabic and I chose it because I wanted him to have a strong name that actually meant something. His last name is German/Jewish so they are an interesting combination but definitely sound nice with "Dr." in front of it!
for our younger three, we had naming ceremonies and all. And yes we walked out of the hospital without naming them (we waited 7 days for that as per the Yoruba tradition). no regrets.
if anything it has helped them.
i agree with your last statement. I just want my children to be wonderful people who look out for others. i also want them to be successful in all of their endeavors. So far, all of them are head of the class and are great examples for their peers. I only planned on one leader but all of them are.
I did consider my children's names with that in mind however I wanted names that weren't too cookie cutter either (although I don't think I was very successful in that). I looked at the meanings of names as well as their origins (wanted to reflect as much of our background as possible but for some reason the Mister wouldn't go for any Japanese names. I'm still mad at him for that).
As with you I also considered what the name would sound like when announced or on a name plaque on their desk at work or on a resume (Seriously, I thought about resumes). The only one I do worry about - that's the most 'different' - is Justis. Since naming my second son, I've run into three other boys (only one was black) with that same name. I always figured if he got too much flack for the name (which he never does, people usually like it...although they aren't offering him a job, now are they?? hhahah), I imagined him initialing his first name and going with his second "J. Aubrey M...". Sounds like a noble name when you say it like that. hahah So...I gave him options. I hope.
I too wonder what some parents were thinking when they named or decided spelling for their children's names. The worst names I've ever come across have been Placentia (really?!), Pepsi (who was a receptionist at a rival soda company) and Secretia (that just sounds nasty).
But as with anything, it's not just one group of people. I've run into two white women named Ebony (imagine the shocked faces of interviewers when they show up all blonde and blue eyed named Ebony) and one named Shaniqua. I.Kid.You.Not. I also have a friend through work named after a geometric shape. She's a tough girl (her parents were hippies) but I remember having to hear her say her name 3x to me when we first met because I knew for SURE I was hearing it wrong. To make matters worse...the spelling is...let's just say - unique.
I can understand preserving history or even trying to capture a moment, but some of these names are just out of this realm. But then again, my name is Rania. In the US it's unique.
I also remember someone doing a show on what people's perceptions were based on what you were named as well as the way you spelled your name. It was pretty funny...
Guess it's all relative.
Great post. We thought hard about our son's name and he is a mixed-race/mixed-culture boy. I think we chose appropriately as his first name, Bodhi, reflects more on our spirituality and his middle names relate more to my father's Panamanian ancestry.
And you can chide me all you want but I love the middle name Guinness for a little girl. Perhaps it is a good thing we had a boy.
I definitely thought about my son's name and how it would impact him - in the workforce, in academia, in whatever he might venture into. I didn't want his name to be an additional barrier.
We decided on a good 'crossover' name - one that was appropriate for all the cultures from which he descends. As a result, he has a very strong name that he'll have to live up to. But, that's okay with me. I am proud of his name and everyone always asks how we will ever be able to compete with it with #2. ;)
I'm a self-professed baby name junkie, and I just had to comment on this post since this is something that I think about far too often at times. I myself have an ethnic name -- it's a Jamaican name that has a meaning that I love (and which my parents must have loved as well, despite having no blood ties to Jamaica itself). I was raised in a very Afro-centric family, and when it came to baby names, I first got started on the name junkie journey while reading my parents' African baby name books as a child.
As I got older, and grew into my own name a bit more, my name preferences changed a bit. I strongly believe that the meaning of a name is important, and I love the meaning inherent in so many African and Arabic names. I also think it is important to choose names for children to which there is some sort of family or cultural tie. When I was younger, this meant African names or names connected in some way to African or African American history. I also think it's important that whatever the name and whatever it's cultural or ethnic roots, it should be spelled correctly -- taking a name with one or more historical spellings and then adding my kre8tiv twist wouldn't be my style. I've had enough problem with my own name, which is unique and unfamiliar to most people in this country, but which I'm happy to say is spelled as it should be.
But like I said, my tastes, as well as social perspective has changed since my teenage years. Now, I not only weigh considerations about meaning and cultural ties, but I also have to think about public perceptions about names and I'm always asking myself questions like: How would other people perceive a child, teenager, adult, president, doctor, judge, lawyer, etc., with this name? Is this a name that my child would be proud to carry for the rest of his or her life, or will it be a burden and constant reminder that he is "different?"
Of course, these days my own opinion about names isn't all that matters anymore. I'm married, which means that I now have another person's opinions to think about, and my husband is white, which means that all my opinions about cultural/ethnic name relevance now must account for a culture other than my own.
At the end of the day, all of these considerations just makes thinking about names for our future kids (lol - yes, no kids yet despite all the thinking about baby names) that much more interesting, and yes, fun. Sure, we've had some heated discussions about names and personal naming tastes, but it has been a fun experience in learning about each other's tastes and style, and finding names that we both agree on. Right now, we're about 95% sure we know the first names for our first two, possibly three children. We absolutely loved the names, and half the fun was the process of finding names that we love, and that meet all of our personal naming criteria.
The only thing we're still working on is that I feel very strongly that our future kids middle names be somehow related to black history and culture, whether African names, or the names of prominent people in our history. I'm having a heck of a time narrowing down my choices, and DH is not as concerned about middle names yet, so he's been no help whatsoever.
You said a mouthful! When I was pregnant with my daughter the concerns that I had about naming her was:
1. I wanted a name that was different and not alot of people had.
2. I wanted it to match her personality (So my bond began before she was born. I knew right off how she reacted to certain things while in I was pregnant, how her demeanor would be).
3. I wanted my daughter to be able to pronounce and spell her name before she was 6 years old without help!
4. I wanted when she went an applied for a job, scholarship or anything; for the people reading the resume to not be able to distinguish what her race was.
I believe I achieved it with her entire name! I do scratch my head at times when I look at certain names and I think as you do, what were you thinking? But again that is a person's choice at what they name their child. I am a firm believer that if you do not like your name, you do have the option at the age of 18 to change it(which is a great thing for a lot of people)LOL!
To each its own, but the naming of the child, I feel needs to have thought behind it. After all this child will have to live with this for the rest of their lives!
Great Post!
I would like to think ALL parents choose personally meaningful names for their children. That being said, it is important to look at these topics with cultural relativism. For example the name you chose as an example, "Bacardi". We (as a culture and a generation of people) know it as a popular brand of rum, but it was first a family name...it is our own stereotype-fed/led prejudices that lead us to assume that this parent named her child after the rum, and not perhaps, her great-grandfather/uncle etc. My name, Tameka is a phonetically spelled play on the Japanese name, Tamika-although popularized by its use within the AA community. Negative stereotypes associated with the name-well, really Black women bearing the name, have led me to use only my first initial in my professional life. Should Tamika Kubota's parents have reconsidered her name as well?
IMO the prejudice thinking needs revisiting, not a parents right to choose ethnically relevant names for their children.
Thought-provoking post, Ana.
Definitely a thought provoking post, before my son was born I definitely knew that I wanted a name with meaning. I didn't think as far as him getting a job and prospects...I had an African Names book and named him 'Sekani' on finding it I knew it was right for him. His name means man of wealth, and laughter in Malawi.
We also learnt later that Sekani is also the name of an Athabaskan First Nations people in the Northern Interior of British Columbia, who's language is also called Sekani. Stay blessed. Amanda
Your boys are so cute! I love this post! I tried to make sure the meaning of my children's names had great powerful meaning! I'd love to connect with you! I have an online magazine for mom's called Mom's Advice Magazine. I'll send you over an email this week. Thanks for such a great post!