I see in color...
I didn't always see in color. As a matter of fact I can remember the distinct moment in my life when I started seeing in color. The revelation that color existed occurred on my 10th birthday. A friend had given me a Barbie and my eyes lit up with excitement at the sight of the beautiful doll. She was so exotic with her long wavy ebony hair and caramel complexion.

My friend's mother upon seeing my complete thrill over the doll exclaimed with glee,  "Ana, now you have a Barbie that looks just like you! We thought you should have a brown barbie because you're brown!"

Truth be told, it wasn't the Barbie's caramel color that made me cherish her as the mother had thought. It was the fact that she was a beautiful and I LOVED Barbie dolls. She could have been black & white with pink polka dots and I wouldn't have cherished her any less. I remember going to my friend's house afterward and her mother would ask me if I brought my brown Barbie along. She put such a great emphasis on the dolls color after awhile I started feeling uncomfortable going to my friend's house.

I see in color...
Years passed and I migrated to the US to go to College. One Saturday morning at college I was hanging out with a bunch of girlfriends and one of the girls divulged that she thought that black girls were "ghetto". I sat there completely stunned as my other friends agreed with her and started talking negatively about some of the black girls on our hall. I quietly contemplated if I should say something or just sit there horrified. One of the girls must have noticed the look on my face and the fact that I was completely silent.

She quickly said, "Oh Ana! We aren't talking about you. Were talking about black girls. Plus you aren't really black anyway, you're more like us." I gave a very sheepish smile, but it was again the awakening to the fact that the world sees in color.

I see in color...
I graduated from college to a new knowledge and understanding about seeing in color, but I still wasn't completely affected by it. I continued to wear my rose colored glasses and didn't see the world in black and white as those around me did. As a young college grad I was career oriented and fortunately I did land a great job. I ran into subtle examples of racism and sexism that reminded me of my college experience, but for the most part I was blind to most situations. One day I was asked by my department head to attend a company conference at the corporate headquarters. As I sat at the conference awaiting the speakers to begin, I looked around the room and thought, "Wow! Am I the only person of color at this conference??" There had been countless times before where I was the lone or token black person representing, but it wasn't something I gave much thought. When I returned to work a few days later I mentioned to a few co-workers that I noticed a lack of diversity at the conference. An older black woman whispered to me that she was surprised the department head had sent me since I was a young black woman.

It was at the conference that I realized that I had finally started seeing in color. Something that had never affected me before (the lack of diversity), now had become important to me. Albeit, I was now seeing in color I also realized I didn't like the way society saw in color. Society seemed to use color as a crutch for prejudice and racism; to hold some down or keep others out.

I see in color...
I was raised seeing diversity. My family was a rainbow of various complexions and hues, made up of brown, white and tan colors all brought together through adoption and birth. Growing up in Haiti, I was exposed to both cultural and ethnic diversity, so it was nothing new to me. Honestly, I don't have a  problem with seeing in color. As a matter of fact I think it's good to see in color and even as a child I probably saw in color (i.e. recognized the world is constructed of different racial complexions & groups). However, the danger in seeing in color comes in when doing so creates a system of judging others. Unfortunately, our society uses color to separate, divide and develop othering. As a parent of multiracial children I've come to understand nurturing my boys with the ability to see color without making them conscious of it all the time is a precarious task. I don't want my children to be colorblind and to think that if you see color it's a bad thing. I want them to see color for the beauty diversity is and that the many shades we are all made up of makes each individual unique and special. It's a two-fold process to raise child to appreciate color and it starts with talking about our views on race at home as well as exposing them to diversity in the world around them. Check out this fascinating videos on kids & race. It's a real eye opener.