"So, Ms. Gazawi. Tell me about No Wedding No Womb (NWNW) and why you joined this movement." The therapist asked without lifting his head, as he continued to scribble away on a notepad in his lap.

"Well the reason seemed simply enough at the time. NWNW is about encouraging men and women to want better for themselves and their children. The 70% out-of- wedlock (OOW) births in the black community signifies a break down in the family construct and I believe that strong families are the lifeblood of a health society." I responded, while reminiscing about the reasons that lead me to join the movement.

"Telling me what has joining this movement revealed to you about yourself?" The therapist asked in a slow, demure manner as he lifted his eyes in my direction and held my gaze for a moment, before returning them to the notepad.

I shifted nervously on the couch. I hadn't expected this question. Quite honestly, I really didn't appreciate it, because it seemed to imply I might have joined the movement for the wrong reasons or that my reasons for joining weren't well thoughtout.

My mind wandered off to what had ultimately lead me to join the movement and I momentarily lost myself in recollection. Initially, the name of the movement, No Wedding No Womb, had given me a bit of pause due to the fact that it seemed to imply that marriage was the cure all for the OOW problem. However, after doing my due diligence, I was put at ease. I decided to join NWNW because I felt it would be a great platform to provoke  men and women to openly discuss the problem of OOW births and the importance of dual parental involvement in children's lives. My hope was that this conversation would open doors to a meaningful and engaging interaction that could potentially spawn change.Undoubtedly, discussion alone is not nearly enough. The next step must be creating solutions that ultimately lead to the implementation of those ideas.

The day of event I was full of excitement and it felt good to be apart of something that was sending a positive message. I expected that critics would eventually rear their heads. As a matter of fact, I looked forward to what they had to say. The best way to shape a movement (in my opinion) is to have a health balance of supporters and critics who can guide its purpose down the right path. Slowly, the critics began to surface and then quickly that trickling turned into a downpouring of nay-sayers. It wasn't their size that befuddled me it was who they were.

To my utter amazement, the biggest opponents of the movement were women, many of whom were themselves in the throws of baby mamahood or single motherhood. I understood how the movement's name could put some baby-mamas and even single mothers ill at ease. Remember? I said it had put me in an uncomfortable place for a moment as well. However, after I took the time to understand the foundational purpose of this movement I realized that it's about our children and how they deserve both parents.

I suppose I took it for granted that if I, a single mother, could be discerning that others in my shoes would be able to do the same. However, what I quickly found out is that the more explaining that was done to dispel the misconceptions the more aggressively opponents clutched onto their fallacies. Eventually the dispute completely deviated from the important issue, our children, and was taken in wild and incongruent tangents. Some examples:  the movement was about bashing baby-mamas/single mothers, that our definition of baby-mamas was flawed, that NWNW was a movement to promote interracial marriages that, and the most absurd tangent of all, we wanted to promote marriage so that the divorce rate would go up (LOL...seriously? Simply ridiculous).

"Ummm..well...what did it reveal to me about myself? Well, I realize that passion drives people. That driving force can lead to frustration and frustration can thrust change or it can become a vehicle for completely irrational behavior. Doctor, for the first time I realize that there's a fine line between wanting to work for change and wanting to act irrational. I saw myself teetering on the edge of both because I was perplexed that so many black women don't see the enomity of the OOW problem and many more don't even care. This complacency scares me for my own children since this issue impacts their future. I guess I've learned just how disconcerning this problem is to me. I'm scared..."