Lady, get a grip! So what if you weren't able to push out them babies like a real woman - like I did. Heck, that big 'ole scar on your belly is a...uhhh...mmm...an honor. Yep, that's what it is. It's your badge of courage doggone it! So wear it with pride and know lots of woman can't have babies. Yep. Your problem is you're too darn vain. It's that Hollywood, ya know. Having all our youngin' thinkin' they gotta look like Angelina Jolie and all. 

Did you read my Self-loathing-I-hate-myself-It-sucks-to-be-me post over at Momsofhue.com? Seriously, I didn't write a post like that, but for some of the reactions the article garnered, I really should have. To give you a brief synopsis of what I wrote, I basically came clean that I don't like my c-section scar. I don't and I probably never will. It's with a paradoxical set of emotions that I view my scar. I absolutely adore my kids and would rebirth them via c-section if I had to because ultimately their safety is (and was) paramount. However, my scar symbolizes the death of a dream I had to have children in a natural, non medicated way. It represents an appropriated choice, if you will.

It's taken me a while to digest what got some in a frenzy about my article, but I *think* I *might* have stumbled onto something... Actually, this is going to be a rant more than an "Aha! I figured it out!" so humor me if you will. And if you won't, I plan to enter into your space any way and tell you what I think. Yep. I'm just inviting myself in, plopping down on your couch and planning to unload. As a matter of fact if you plan on sitting down with me, would you mind bringing a cup of tea? I prefer Chamomile and I'll take honey with that, not sugar.

In all fairness to the comments, encouragements, misemployed judgments, at the heart of  it all, I get it. I really do and for the most part I appreciated what each commenter had to say. Our society is far to tangled up in  outer beauty. On that same vein we do need to learn to value and appreciate our complete selves - body, mind and spirit - and that mean accepting our exterior flaws along with what makes us unique and different. As a friend of mine once said, it's a person's physical flaws that makes them beautiful - it makes them human. Women, somehow, have more difficulty accepting this reality because I think society puts way more pressure on women to look good. Initially, I think pressure was put on women to be outwardly beautiful, so they could appeal to the opposite sex and find a suitable mate. However, in today's world, women put this burden upon themselves, because they've forgotten where their true beauty lies. We are a lost and dying society inwardly, so to compensate for this, women try to alter their exterior image in hopes of finding a quick fix for their deteriorating interior self. And I realize this isn't just a problem for women. Men are just as guilty, however I don't think men feel the need to strive for outer beauty to compensate for inner problems. Men tend to go for position, power, cars, etc.  See I told ya, I get it.

Here's where this conversation gets bizarre and twists off into a blurry fog.When it comes to creating and birthing babies, the standard changes. All of sudden it seems that the more elaborate the stories of birth or the bigger the trials a woman had to overcome, the more phenomenal she is. It's as if every woman want to have a war story, flaws, battle scars. I was at the park and overheard a group of mothers chatting up their delivery stories. One woman started off by sharing that she was in labor for 15 hours and went into details of about her delivery woes. As soon as her story was told, other women started telling their birthing stories and it began to sound like each woman was trying to out do the other.

One lady, who was in labor for 36 hours, nearly had a c-section, her blood pressure drop and her baby's heart rate decreased to a dangerously low rates. Another lady said she had Placenta Previa. Still another said that her baby had a cord wrap around the baby's neck. And as each woman shared their birthing story it seemed that the stories got more dramatic and traumatic as they went along. They shared gory details about how much tearing, stitching, cutting and weeks of agonizing healing they endured. By the time I walked away from their blathering, I (almost) felt ashamed of myself for not experiencing as much trauma as they did. Geez, I must not be a true woman since I didn't suffer much to bring my babies into this world - all I had was a lil 'ole c-section. (please insert copious amounts of sarcasm)

This isn't the first time I've witnessed this. On other occasions I've observed this same behavior and I've tried to analyze the reasoning behind it. It's as if for some women, the degree of sacrifice they made to birth their child is iconic of their love for that child. Yea ladies, I went to the ends of the earth - hell and back - to birth this baby! You know I love this baby more than anything. I've got the scars to prove it! I know. I know. I'm sure none of you have ever noticed this or none of the women you hang around talk about their child's birth in this manner. It must be just the women I encounter, right? What's that? Crazy people, attract crazy people - is that what you said? *scoots off couch to avoid being thrown out*

Well anyway, even though you won't admit to my theory, I do appreciate that you listened to my rant. No need get up and see me out. I know where the door is...