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Monday, March 15, 2010
On Being Biracial
The topic of being biracial isn't one that we really discuss with our children. We often speak about the multicultural, bilingual aspect of our family to help them have a strong sense of self. I was watching a YouTube video where a mother asked her mixed raced children what does being biracial mean to them. Instinctively, I began wondering how my 8 yo would respond if I asked him questions about his identity.Remarkably, my son has never shown a curiosity about his father and mother having very different complexions. Once, I read on a blog about a 3 yo biracial boy telling his mom "Mommy you are purple, daddy is pink and I'm orange!" It's pretty amazing that a toddler would be so perceptive. This child clearly recognized the complexion difference in his family. We didn't experience that with my 8yo when he was younger. Whether or not he recognized as a toddler that he was a different color than I am and much closer in complexion to his dad, is something he didn't bring up. It's a non-issue to him and it's a non-issue to all of us. When I've had people question me about my son's identity right in front of him, I'm often surprised that he doesn't ask me about it later on.
Last year when I wrote Mama is Brown. Son is Tan. Got Confusion? that situation was probably the first time that I can think of where my 8 yo was personally put in a position to respond to someone questioning his relationship to me. The good thing is these types of situations are very infrequent these day since the stark similarity to me is undeniable. Up until he was about 3 yo he had auburn hair and a pale, pale complexion that gave people quite a bit of pause when they saw us together. I have more nanny and Is he your son? stories to tell than I care to remember prior to his hair changing color and his complexion gaining some real tone.
As I was thinking about these things, it made me more curious to find out what would be my son's response regarding his race.
Me: What race or ethnicity do you tell people you are when they ask?
Son: Race? Ethnicity?
Me: Yes, like black, white, hispanic, asian...
Son: Ohhhh! I thought you were talking about race as in running a race. I wasn't sure why I would tell people what kind of race I'm in. *chuckles at this point*
Son: Well some of the kids at school asked me if I'm hispanic, because they said I look hispanic. My teacher asked about my family and I told her my mom is from Haiti and my dad is from Israel. She said that I'm African American.
Me: What did you tell the kids at school and your teacher?
Son: Well I told my the kids at school I'm mixed with Haitian and Israeli. I told my teacher I'm an African American, but I think that makes me a mixed African American.
Me: What did your teacher say?
Son: She laughed and said, "Well alright, if you wanna look at it that way I guess were all mixed African Americans."
I'm happy to know my son can handle himself in these types of situations. Actually, it's a relief to know that he is comfortable talking about his identity. I am surprised that he never mentioned any of these things to me. The lesson emphasized (yet again) is that as a parent it is necessary to bring up certain topics even if the child doesn't appear to be phased or interested in the topics. He could have faced these questions feeling ill at ease or even confused as to how he should respond. I'm happy that wasn't the case.
On another note, I think it's interesting the comment the teacher made: "Well alright, if you wanna look at it that way I guess were all mixed..."? She has a point, then again what my son was talking about wasn't the point she was making. Either she didn't get what he was trying to say about being biracial or she doesn't consider a person who is half one race and half another race to be biracial. Who knows...
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8 comments:
Thank you for sharing! Your son is AWESOME!! I myself am mixed race (African-American/American Indian mother and Central American Father). We never discussed ethnicity at home but I was upset when people would try to categorize me as a little kid. My parents were called into school when I refused to pick one ethnicity on a standardized test when I was in kindergarten, I couldn't understand why there wasn't an "All American Kid" category. I still cringe when there isn't a mixed or other category on forms. My biggest form is with gov't hire forms, I generally have HR fill that out or pick African-American since I have a latin surname.
I think she is following that one drop rule and not acknowledging his whole race.
I think children are a step ahead of adults when it comes to so many issues. Their minds haven't been muddled with preconceived ideas and judgements. They see the beauty in everything and love everyone - innocence.
While I agree with Keya that the teacher is not acknowledging his whole race, for many people, mixed race is exactly what an African American is. My family is racially mixed and we identify as black American (aka African American). It is not to deny the other cultures that we are a part of, it is simply to self-identify easily. I don’t want to give a genealogy lesson whenever I am asked what race I am. If a person knows me well enough to warrant that kind of information, they will get it by spending time with me and my family. Usually, people are just trying to find a simple way to categorize you and whether you spend the extra time explaining it or not, even if you are not black at all but look like you could have some, somewhere down the line, many African Americans will identify with you and claim you as their own. And I know that this is largely due to the one-drop rule, just like Keya noted.
I have a ‘just curious’ question: If you check the mixed race box, that does not tell how you are mixed, so why bother? The people in the mixed race category will likely not include the same racial mix as you do. Why would one feel that they better fit with a Mexican-Russian or Chinese-Laotian than with an African American when their racial mix includes some African ancestry? I hope this question doesn't come across offensively and I wonder if there are any bloggers who have talked about their feelings about this already.
-- Myrna
It's funny how kids don't see race sometimes. For years my son thought I was whote but never said anything till were talking about black and white people. I was astonished. I thought he was Puerto Rican, yes he said Puerto Rican.
Tiffany
http://liferequiresmorechocolate.blogspot.com
He sure did handle himself well. As smart as he is cute -- watch out world!!
What a smart kid. The fact that kids are naturally intelligent somehow assures the parents that they'll be okay. This is a very nice post.
well, Children are innocent by nature and it would be quite understandable that answers given by the kid is more objective towards the question asked through his thinking methodology.