Did you ever fear before you became a mother that you might lose yourself in this role? Honestly, it never dawned on me that this could happen. There's no doubt, I knew I'd have to do away with the spontaneous, lust for adventure, independent side of me. Understandably, it would have to be relinquished to a more sedentary, stable lifestyle. However, when I became a mother, I was okay with these big changes. I had accomplished a few things that I was proud of by this time. Although, there were other things I would have liked to have accomplished, I had no problem throwing myself full throttle into Motherhood.

Looking back over the motherhood journey thus far, I have absolute no regrets about the the way motherhood has altered my life. Thanks to this amazing privilege, I am a better person today than I ever was before. I never knew I had such a capacity to love anyone as much as I love my children. I love them with the kind of love that makes me feel pain, when I see them in pain. My heart swells like a big balloon and it feels as if it might burst, because of the pride I have in the little men they are becoming. I truly didn't understand what self-sacrifice and compassion meant until I had experienced sleepless nights worrying about my sick babies. I've developed a new faith and trust in my God, after countless raw prayers of begging for my kids protection and safety.

Indeed, motherhood has made me a better me and I would even go so far as to say, she has saved me.

Nonetheless, despite what a gift and honor motherhood is, it is possible for a mother to lose herself in this role. I slowly began to realize this was happening to me, when every conversation I had somehow lead to my children or was dominated by brags or even vents regarding my darling little people. During times, when I should have been relishing in the opportunity to have "me-time" I was thinking about them and sometimes rushing to get back to them.

When I eventually reached the full awareness that I was losing myself in motherhood, I had to take a big step back so I could revisit who I was prior to becoming a mother. My first thoughts took me back to the young impetuous, adventure-seeker who thought she was invincible. In my brief moment of nostalgia, I remembered the ambitions I had in those days to travel to Europe and study French and Spanish in a language immersion program. Doors had started to open for me that quite possibly may have landed me a job working for the United Nations. I was ready for the challenge that kind of opportunity would yield and was aggressively taking the steps toward that end.

However, not long into my reminiscing, I realized it would be impossible for me to reembark on that ambition. I am a mother now and it would be inconvenient for me, unfair to my children and selfish to the Hubster to want to pursue such an undertaking. Even as I visited other areas of the past me, I realized I've evolved from the person I used to be. I've grown up and I have different needs, wants and desires for my life. It was time to find me in motherhood instead of trying to regaining the person I once was. The journey is a work in progress. I am rediscovering and learning anew my interests and talents. The biggest lesson being taught along the way is that it's really okay to have goals that aren't centered around my kids. As a matter of fact, having a sense of accomplishment for things I've done for myself helps make me be a better mother. It provides a great example to my kids to use there God given talents to not only do good for others, but as a means to explore their creativity and handiwork.