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Monday, September 7, 2009
White-Chocolate Mocha Toffee Latte...
Does it sound like a wickedly delicious drink? Actually, those are just a few hues that resemble the complexion of biracials.
I was in the grocery store check out with my two lil men. The cashier was oo-ing and ah-ing over the boys, particularly so over Tar. Eventually, she asked a question I could tell has been burning on her mind to ask. I see this cashier regularly at check out, so she is not new to me. She is always very friendly with my boys.
"He's (pointing to Tar) mixed, isn't he?" The cashier asked me lowering her voice.
I nodded my head.
Then she turned to Tiger and in much the same tone asked, "But is he? I wasn't sure."
Again, I nodded my head.
"See, I wasn't sure about the older one. He looks mixed now since he's gotten a hair cut. But when his hair was longer I wasn't sure if he was just very light skinned or biracial." The cashier rambled on.
I responded in my typical fashion to say how much Tiger looks like me and that he is my twin.
Recently, I've witnessed people grappling with my old son's appearance with regard to him being biracial. From the perspective of a mother of a mixed race child, this is nonsensical and in-consequential all in the same breathe. This isn't something parents of biracials ever think about. Actually, does any parent of a child, monoracial or otherwise ever think on these terms? Would a mother of a caucasion child ask, "Does my child look white?" Or will a father of hispanic child wonder if his child bears a resemblance of the hispanic race?
Honestly, it is society that makes parents of biracials have to stop and think on the matter of does my child look biracial? Actually, what does a biracial look like, anyway? Unfortunately, because our culture's effort to homogenize the images of mixed race people, some in our society are left scratching their heads if a biracial doesn't fit that image. Thanks to Hollywood and the media the biracial look has been epitomized by characteristics of caramel complexion and cork screw curly hair. This sensationalized persona is only a small representation of vast picture of mixed race people.
To help you understand just how complex our mixed race population is chew on these nuggets. The following list is comprised of mixed race people:
I present you...
President Barack Obama (Please do not tell me that you didn't know our President is biracial.)
Anthony Quinn (Mexican/Irish)
Brandon Lee (Asian/Caucasion)
Salli Richardson (Black & Cherokee/Irish & Italian)
Giancarlo Esposito (Black/Italian)
Alexandra Stevenson (Black/Caucasion)
Tiger Woods (Black/Asian)
Lou Diamond Phillips (Caucasion & Cherokee/Filipina & Japanese)
Lauren London (Black/Jewish)
Lenny Kravitz (Black/Jewish)
Kimora Lee Simmons (Black/Asian)
I was in the grocery store check out with my two lil men. The cashier was oo-ing and ah-ing over the boys, particularly so over Tar. Eventually, she asked a question I could tell has been burning on her mind to ask. I see this cashier regularly at check out, so she is not new to me. She is always very friendly with my boys.
"He's (pointing to Tar) mixed, isn't he?" The cashier asked me lowering her voice.
I nodded my head.
Then she turned to Tiger and in much the same tone asked, "But is he? I wasn't sure."
Again, I nodded my head.
"See, I wasn't sure about the older one. He looks mixed now since he's gotten a hair cut. But when his hair was longer I wasn't sure if he was just very light skinned or biracial." The cashier rambled on.
I responded in my typical fashion to say how much Tiger looks like me and that he is my twin.
Recently, I've witnessed people grappling with my old son's appearance with regard to him being biracial. From the perspective of a mother of a mixed race child, this is nonsensical and in-consequential all in the same breathe. This isn't something parents of biracials ever think about. Actually, does any parent of a child, monoracial or otherwise ever think on these terms? Would a mother of a caucasion child ask, "Does my child look white?" Or will a father of hispanic child wonder if his child bears a resemblance of the hispanic race?
Honestly, it is society that makes parents of biracials have to stop and think on the matter of does my child look biracial? Actually, what does a biracial look like, anyway? Unfortunately, because our culture's effort to homogenize the images of mixed race people, some in our society are left scratching their heads if a biracial doesn't fit that image. Thanks to Hollywood and the media the biracial look has been epitomized by characteristics of caramel complexion and cork screw curly hair. This sensationalized persona is only a small representation of vast picture of mixed race people.
To help you understand just how complex our mixed race population is chew on these nuggets. The following list is comprised of mixed race people:
President Barack Obama (Please do not tell me that you didn't know our President is biracial.)
Anthony Quinn (Mexican/Irish)
Brandon Lee (Asian/Caucasion)
Salli Richardson (Black & Cherokee/Irish & Italian)
Giancarlo Esposito (Black/Italian)
Alexandra Stevenson (Black/Caucasion)
Tiger Woods (Black/Asian)
Lou Diamond Phillips (Caucasion & Cherokee/Filipina & Japanese)
Lauren London (Black/Jewish)
Lenny Kravitz (Black/Jewish)
Kimora Lee Simmons (Black/Asian)
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12 comments:
What a fantastic post!! I know that as a mom you are instilling such a strong sense of self.
What the......I think she's just rude! I am mixed race: Irish, English, Mexican, Native American, French-but because I look white no one asks what my race is. I find people ask the dumbest questions sometimes. My grandson (adopted) has some black blood somewhere but who the heck cares what his race is-he's Chris, that's all.
Why does one group have to prove that they're as good as another? The real acceptance will come when nobody thinks about the differences in others but accepts them without thinking about it.
Don't know if this rant made sense-hope so.
Here here - a great post that makes you think! Your children are gorgeous too!!!
Hi, just passing thru when I found your post, 1st off I want to say you have beautiful children. God bless you & your family. I'm coming from a family that's basically mixed with everything & does it matter no not at all. I agree with the other posters, this cashier was totally rude to ask this question. Your better then me because I wouldn't have given such ignorance an answer. I can't understand for the life of me why people have to define a person by color. Are they thinking from their backsides or what!?!?
Shelley
Are we not ALL bi-racial?
(The terms multiracial and mixed-race describe people whose ancestries come from multiple races.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biracial)
My parents are of different races...German, French, Welsh, European...and English, Irish
I had (age is against me now) blonde hair blue eyes and pale pale skin....my brother (we have the EXACT same parents) is dark brown hair, green eyes and is dark...always looks tan kind-of-dark....
When we were kids we joked that HE belonged to the milkman....why did no one EVER ask if he/we were BI-RACIAL
People never cease to amaze me with their rudeness and ignorance!
Nice as usual.
I'm with Jenn.
And I just loove Lenny Kravitz
Ridiculous questions/observations on her part. Furthermore, why is it so important to her?
Great post! I can totally relate and it's amazing how genetically different two kids from the same parent can be.
My daughters are biracial (Mexican & Black) and I encounter that same exact scenario just about once a week. I laughed when you said you knew the question was burning in her mind. There have been a lot of times when someone asks me and I'm thinking, "I could just tell he/she was going to ask."
My girls are just like your boys. My youngest has the typical "obvious" biracial look while it's a little harder to see on my older one. We don't focus on the race in our household, but we do focus on "self". You are right in that the most important thing is that they are comfortable in their own skin.
I just love theses cashiers that always have a comment on our kids. Seriously lady just ring up my tab so I can go home and feed said kid. LOL
Anyway, Great topic for a post. I could comment on so much but then i'd blow your comment section out. LOL. Lets just say I'm in 110% with ya.
Quiskaeya,
My children are the ones who drive me crazy, who make me laugh, who make me smile w/their intellect (:)), who I love to death, and not typically my bi-racial children, which I know they are. Sometimes, I'm like Nikki (Blasian Baby) and tire of hearing it and then other times I like watching people struggle to getting around to asking what they really want to know. Usually, I just answer and move on. I'm all for asking questions if you want to know things (because I will ask), but I do try to be tactful. Unfortunately, everyone isn’t as well schooled.
All I ask is if you ask such personal questions of me, then be ready for the answers as well as the questions I may have for you (oh, that can be fun) and be careful about your wording because my kids are not freaks.
Im sitting here shaking my head...lol My children do not have the same skin color but when u look at them they look just a like and just like so u know they are sister and brother. All I have to say is never assume anything about anyone. What looks white may not be white and what looks black may not be black.
When will people understand that minorities come in all shades of brown,black,white,yellow and everything in between?