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Monday, July 6, 2009
Gender Prediction
I really don't get the whole "let's find out the gender of our baby before it's born" trend that seems to be so dominant these days. The market is saturated with kits like Intelligender that promise to predict the gender of your baby as early as 10 weeks! I know 3 women who are pregnant and all of them found out around 16-20 weeks what they are having. Same goes for the Mama bloggers that I know online - they also couldn't wait until that magical period when they could find out their babies' gender.I'm not saying that there's anything is wrong with this. Fact be known I found out what gender I was having with both my kids before they were born. I know. I know. You're probably wondering why I would wonder why other parents find out their babies' gender, when I did the same thing. In my own defense, I didn't want to know. Unfortunately, both my ex-hubby and the Hubster were dying to know. My ex-hubby wasn't good at keeping secrets and the Hubster didn't even try to hide it. He just blurted it out during an ultrasound visit despite the fact I was closing my eyes so I couldn't see. The Hubster slept two nights on the couch for that. Kidding!
I'm not here to criticize parents who do find out their baby's gender before the birth. I'm just curious as too the reasons behind it. It does seem at times there's a bit of a "rush" to know. My question is what's the big rush? Is the need to know because of wanting to get the right things for baby? Is it that curiousity to find out if the gender wanted is the one that will be born?
The Hubster is a military man. For him, everything is about timing, preparation and planning. He's not one for surprises when it comes to baby readiness. He'd rather know what to expect so he can make sure everything falls in line like it's supposed to. Months before Tarr was born he was reading books and preparing himself on what to expect. As a matter of fact, one of his favorite sites was Whattoexpect.com. I can't fault him for that because one of the things I love about him is his preparedness. However, I made him swear that if we ever have another child we would let his/her gender be a surprise. Anyway, the factory is closed over here so we don't have to worry about that.
I suppose the rush to know just seems like another example of how our culture is characterized by impatience, need for control and doesn't leave a lot of room to just enjoy the simple moments. My last pregnancy was horrible. However, everyday I marveled and was in awe of what my body was able to do without any assistance or effort on my part. I relished every moment, so grateful for the opportunity to experience life being knitted in my womb, as the Bible says. There were two pregnancy shirts I just loved. They said, "I am a superwoman! I create life!" and "I create milk! What's your superpower?". Gotta love that, eh? They summed up for me that despite the hardships of pregnancy, it truly is an amazing experience not to be taken for granted.
I'd be curious how many of you did/didn't find out what gender your baby was before he/she was born. For those that did find out, what was the main reason for doing so? For those that did not, did you receive pressure from others to find out? Please share your stories...
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11 comments:
We found out primarily because I couldn't stand the suspense. Pregnancy comes with too many surprises as it stands; when will my butt stop growing? when will the back pain stop? Why can't I inhale blueberry pancakes instead of having to bother with chewing? Why isn't there an onion-ring factory near my bedroom? Ya know, the regular stuff. I didn't need another surprise in my life during that period, no Ma'am!
I didn't find out, and there was such excitement around "not" knowing. However, after she was out the womb I never wanted to put anything neutral on her regarding clothing or accessories. It's was all about the PINK!
Have said that, if I were to become pregnant again I would find out early. I’m in a different place in my life, and would certainly conclude that being prepared would be the motivation for knowing.
We found out with our 1st. The 2nd we waited and we will wait to find out with the rest of our future kids.
I loved not knowing the 2nd time. I loved just loving my baby w/out saying him/her and you can give little nicknames when you don't know the sex.
I found out early with both of my girls, and I did that because I wanted to pick their names and actually call them by it, and prepare their rooms and their wardrobes. Mostly, I wanted to read and sing to Mari and Lila, who, in my mind, were my little girls way before they made their debut... I made a point of telling them that every day.
With my first one I did not want to know at all. I wanted a total surprise. With my second one, I wanted another girl badly. I decided to find out what it was so that I could mentally prepare myself ahead of time if it was a boy. It was.
Wanted to be prepared.
I've always wanted a little girl and having 3 boys before I actually had her, it's good I found out so I could metally prepare myself.
Nico was my 3rd child and 3rd boy in a row. Although I'm grateful he was born healthy, I was depressed for 3 mons after finding out because I thought i'd never have a daughter. Once I was able to get over the disappointment, I was able to enjoy the rest of my pregnancy and concentrate on names and imagining my 3 boys at play.
With Ava, I think it goes without saying that I had to know to again mentally prepare. When we found out she was a girl, I literally cried with joy and enjoyed the rest of my pregnancy without worrying if my dream would ever come true because it finally did.
If somehow we were to have another (like u, my factory is closed), I think a surprise would be okay with me. I'd still be dying to know but with my boys and Ava to enjoy, I think I could manage the wait better. :)...I think... LOL
We found out because we wanted to and we could. Plain and simple. I wouldn't find out again though...I think. ;-)
We found out simply to be prepared. I don't see it as society being impatient, my feeling was that since we can know ahead all the better. Plus I wanted to be able to use the right pronouns when talking about him to my mother and sister. I was tired of saying the baby or he/she. It made it more real for me to be able say "your nephew", or "your grandson" or "our son" rather than just "the baby" lol Plus it really helped with the naming, it was stressful enough coming up with names for one gender far less two!
I absolutely did not want to know. My husband however already had the name picked out from he was a teenager; I'm talking about from Sean Connery was James Bond. Ok I'm sure you've figured out our son's name.
I made it very clear to the radiologist that I didn't want to know and so after the ultra sound my husband was told privately.
All was fine until one day in his sentimental,protective mood he declared "I hope you have a healthy bouncing baby boy". I was so mad! It didn't last of course.
I swore that my "son" was a girl and didn't need to know. But my family wanted to know so I found out during the 2nd Sono. Boy was I surprized when I found out it was a boy. I'm glad I did cause I need time to get use to the idea and not have it shock me at the birth. LOL
Hi you certainly have a point there. Yes, according the http://climatarians.org what’s the point in knowing the gender early when you’re going to know it someday anyway. Why the hurry. In fact in many under developed countries where there is a bias towards girl babies, there is a ban on gender prediction, and for good reason. But in countries where these is no such bias, there is no need for the prediction itself!
Thought provoking post.
Joost Hoogstrate