I've become close to one of our neighbors. She and her husband live a few buildings east from our building. They are a young couple in their mid to late twenties. I hang out around the complex with the wife often and we have developed a good bond.

I suppose since she is some years younger than I, I guess you can say she respects my advice on certain things and comes to me frequently about different obstacles she having in her life. I haven't really gotten a chance to get to know her husband on a personal level. He's a little standoffish, but some people think my husband is also. Therefore, I took his standoffishness as being reserved since my husband can appear standoffish, but he's not. He's simple a reserved kind of guy.

The wife is extremely friendly and open. She is forever trying to arrange opportunities for all of us to get together. Sometimes she can be too friendly, as in the times she'll pop over to our apartment at 8:30 - 9pm to "just chat". The first few times she did this, I let it slide and we sat on the staircase and chatted about whatever she wanted to chat about. However, it was becoming such a frequent occurance I had to ask her to call me first to make sure I wasn't busy getting the kids to bed or just having my hubby time.

Last week I had 2 nights where I came home from work around 9pm because of certain events we were holding at the university. It appears both those nights she popped by our apartment unannounced. The Hubster was home with the kids. It upset him a little that she came by because he was laying the kids down for rest. Both times she said she was just stopping by to say "hi" to me.

Feeling I needed to address the situation I called her that night and again asked her to please call me first before coming by. She sound a little offended by my request but said she would.

A few days later I called her to see how she was doing and she ended up coming over. She looked weird to me. I couldn't tell if the darkness around her eyes was from sickness, lack of sleep or bruises. She had make up over it. I asked her if she was okay and her eyes started watering. She said she has allergies. I've noticed she has marks on her arms that appear like old burn marks.

Yesterday I spoke to her again and while talking she just bursted into tears. She said that she wants to leave her husband. After 2 hours of talking to her she finally admitted her husband abuses her. I feel absolutely terrible that I've turned her away so many nights, when she was coming over for release and safety. I encouraged her to get help. I offered as many ways she can seek help as possible. I even said the next time it happens for her to come over and we can get the police involved. She refused all of avenues of help because she's afraid of her husband.

I spoke to the Hubster about it. He said that we can't force her to get help if she doesn't want it. I'm so at a loss and this woman needs help.

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