If I could have it my way, I'd sit on the floor and cry a puddle of tears. Since going back to work it's been one drama after another. Poor Lil One. First, he suffered separation anxiety at the sitters. Each day for the first 2 weeks the last image I had of him was a tear stained face, with puffy eyes and quivering lips. Not the best way to start a day. Fortunately, we called by the daycare where he was placed on a waiting list. We moved him to that facility and the transition went really well. He liked that place a lot better.

However, since being in that facility he has been sick with the flu and ear infection since the second week. Every 10-11 days like clock work we find ourselves in the pedi's office lamenting to him about his high fever, lack of appetite and crankiness. We get the same response, "All babies when they make the move to daycare get sick a lot while their bodies get immune to the new germs." While I respect the pedi and his very caring staff, it's just so frustrating watching my once healthy baby sick all the time.

Sunday, after 2 days of fever 102+ we decided to take him to our local hospital. Blood work revealed elevated levels of white blood cells and his chest xrays showed bacteria. The ER doctor stated he may have pnemonia. This particular hospital doesn't have a pedi ward so we had to be transported to another hospital where an on-call pedi could review the tests to make a final determination.

After the pedi from the second hospital reviewed the test she concluded that Lil One did not have pnemonia but had a very bad ear infection and the flu. Basically, he had exactly the same thing he's had for the past 6 plus weeks on and off. This time however, it was worse than the times before so the pedi had antibiotic injected through and IV. She also suggested we consult a specialist about his ears as he may need tubes. The idea of tubes makes me want to send him back to my womb where he's protected, because I don't want him to have to go through that. She also mentioned flu shots which is another thing I'm against, but the Hubster wants to give Lil One the vaccine.

I don't think Lil Man likes me very much these days. I miss the days when I was his "bestest Ma in the world!" I remember the times he could see me approaching him from a distance and leave what he was doing to run as fast as his legs could carry him to give me a hug. Now the reaction I get from him is "Mom why did u have to come pick me up so early?" or "Can my Dad (or the Hubster or any other person he thinks of) come pick me up?" This week I got the mother of all responses. I arrived at his aftercare to get him and he saw me coming and turned around like he didn't see me. When I approached him he threw the book he was reading on the floor and said to me very rudely "I'm not ready to go yet Ma. Just come back later." He then walked away. I was speechless. I couldn't believe my normally well mannered son was being so disrespectful.

Once in the car I have him a very stern reprimand. He remained quiet in the car and the tears started rolling down my face. It doesn't make sense where this behaviour is coming from. I had to go by the grocery store before going home. Lil Man's head pretty much hung in shame the whole time around the store. A lady asked him why he looked so sad. He told the lady "I didn't mean to hurt my Mom's feelings but now she's mad at me." Then started crying. Of course, now I looked like the mean one. In the car I explained to him again why I was hurt by his behaviour. He apologized for the way he acted and we decided to go for a clean slate.

In the last 2 mos since going back to work he's gotten 10x worse with first time obedience. Anything he is asked to do has be to told to him a gazillion times. In my parent-teacher conference the teacher mentioned her only complaint about Lil Man is his procrastination. He is top of his class, yet he'll be the last to finish sometimes because he'll waste his time for no reason. Is this a preview of the teenage years? Does it really start this early?

Lastly, I missed out on the opportunity of a lifetime. I was invited to participate in the Disney Mom Bloggers event and couldn't go. Four all-expense-paid-days of fun, enlightenment, meeting bloggers I've met in blogosphere and good 'ole livin' it up sans the kids & the hubster. I couldn't go because I had to work. Boo-woo!!

I'm beginning to question my decision to go back to work. I've decided to give it until the end of the year. My kids seem to be falling apart at the seams and this is really breaking me apart. I'm sure the Hubster has felt neglected a time or two or many. Please pray for me as I seek Gods desire.

Looking for gifts, apparels and novelties with a green theme? Check us out at
Sha~Dou!