Raising My Kids Not To Be Colorblind

I've never really embraced the concept of being colorblind. I understand that when most people use the term in reference to racial matters it's general with good intentions in mind. However, on a few occasions I've seen it being utilized in a way to avoid acknowledging someone's racial composition. In other words, I've witnessed people ignoring someone's ethnicity to escape their own racial prejudices.

Here's an example of what I mean. I went to a predominately white college. In the student body of 1300 students less than 2 percent were black. Hispanic composed about 4-5 percent of the school and Asians made up under 1 percent. I had a group of girls that I hung out with and one evening the issue came up about being "black & ghetto". One girl in our group blurted out that all the black women at her part time job were ghetto. Another girl joined in about black women being ghetto and before you know it all the girls were exchanging stories about black women acting ghetto. I didn't say a word. I was surprised that they would talk this way and consider me their friend. I really didn't know how to respond to their stereotypes. Eventually, one of the girls observed that I was quietly sitting there and must have sensed my discomfort so she said,

"Oh Nina (My college nickname) we're not talking about you! You're not really black anyway. You don't act black."

She said this in such a matter-of-fact way and all the other girls joined in agreement. I was floored! As if stereotyping black people wasn't bad enough, now I had been reduced to nothing, basically. If I'm not black, then what am I? Was I only being accepted by these girls because they chose to not see me as black? I know I've often been told I don't have "speak" or sound like a black person. I take it because I don't use ebonics on a regular basic this means I'm not an authentic black woman? Because I choose to listen to a variety of genres of music other than hip hop and r&b, does this mean I'm less of a black person? At times I've been made to feel that way because people say that I'm not really black. I've not only gotten this ignorance from white folks, but black folks alike.

Long ago I decided when my children would come along I wouldn't raise them colorblind. It's been my desire that my kids embrace their ethnic make up and celebrate their multiracial background. I would never want my children to only accept someone because they ignored their racial difference like the girls above did. In the racial sense, difference is good. The problem is folks get too hung up on race and allow the color of one's skin to be the beginning and the end of how far we will pursue to get to know someone. What we need is more celebrating of the many shades we come in. Okay, I've made my point. This is beginning to sound like I'm trying to write a civil rights speech.

To sum up everything, I don't want my kids to be ashamed of what race they are. More importantly, I want them to be proud of their cultural background and this is what we talk about with them. It's not so important to me that my kids can categorically refer to themselves as black, biracial or whatever. As long as they know their cultural past, I'm good.

Today I came face to face with my philosophy in how I'm raising my children. We were at a Memorial Parade. Lil Man struck up a conversation with another little boy. The boy upon seeing the hubster inquired of Lil Man, "Is that your Dad?"

"Yes" replied Lil Man

"Your Dad is white?" the boy asked. Lil Man didn't respond. I could tell he wasn't sure what to say.

"Man I don't have white friends. That's your Ma, too? (pointing to me)"

"Yeah" Lil Man answered. I could tell by this time he was kind of getting irritated.

"Man. Yo Ma is black and yo Dad is white?? Man. Hmmph." the boy said.

"So what are you?" the boy asked

And Lil Man answered "I'm Haitian and Israeli, okay! Do you wanna go play?"

The boy just shook his head like he was trying to process it all and then off both of them went to be kids and play.

Yeah, I'm good with it all.