I have often thought my son could be a prime candidate for Kids Say the Darndest Things. Sometimes when I tell people the stuff my son does or say they give me this look like "Yeah, right!". But give them moment with him and soon they are believers that this child of mine is Mister Personality. Looking back over the past years there are a few moments that come to mind. I'm writing them down because so I don't forget them. They're too good to forget and might come in handy when my son gets older and thinks he's so grown (Especially, in front of a would-be damsel friend)! Ya know what I mean...whip out a few of these memories and-a knock him back to size if need be. Ooooooouuuu such a bad mommy to think so conniving!

2 Years old:
I had just finished breastfeeding my son in his room. He came back into the living room where our in-laws were waiting and my FIL asked, "What have you been up to, big guy?". My son replies, "Had to milk the cow."

3 Years old:
We were in line at Wal-mart behind a very large older woman with quite a rotund waist. The woman turned around and upon spotting my son began talking to him. She uttered the normal pleasantries about what a cute boy he was etc. etc. Then she asked him how old he was and my son just stared at her wide-eyed. I told my son to respond to the lady and he looks at me in irritation and says "Ma, why did this lady come outside with a big 'ole pillow in her shirt?" Then he says shaking his head "I'm three and I don't do that." Needless to say I was VERY embarrassed and was sure everyone in the line thought I spared the rod one too many times on my child! Fortunately, the lady had a good sense of humour and responded "The doctor told me that I need to watch my weight so I decided the best place I could see it was on my stomach."

4 Years old:
We were at the park. On one side of the park was a basketball court. My son was dying to go over to the court to watch the guys who were playing. I, on the other end, was engrossed in a conversation with another mommy friend and had no interest to go over there. My son slipped away from me when I had turned my head and by the time I turned my head back he dashing onto the court. By the time I caught up to him he had completely interrupted the b-ball game. The guys were really sweet and took turns lifting him up and letting him throw baskets. One guy set my son down too roughly and he tripped and fell scrapping his knee. All the guys came around to give him encouragement and patted him head to make him feel better. My son turns to the guys and said "Hold on, gotta get mommy to kiss it to make it better." He ran over to me and I gave him a kiss. He then ran back to the guys and exclaims "Let the games begin because I'm brand new!" One of the guys turns to me with a chuckle and said "Well I guess mommy's kiss cures everything!"

5 Years old:
Yesterday, I was making a snack in the kitchen and I hear my son on the phone. I thought he was talking to his Dad so I didn't think much of it. Then I hear him saying, "Do you guys carry school uniforms?" Of course now he's caught my attention. There is silence for a moment and then my son tells the person on the phone in a very matter-of-fact way "Well I guess because the schools are so bad nobody wants the kids to go to school, so no one has uniforms."

To make sense of this situation, one needs to understand some of the events of the last few days. We went to his school to get his uniform and were told they'd have to be ordered because the school had run out of his size. My son was so disappointed and thought it meant he wouldn't be able to go to school. Might I add my son is dying to go to kindergarten and wild horses can't stop this kid from going. I have tried to explain to him that he will get his uniform in time for school but I guess he felt a need to take this situation upon himself. The other situation that I think led up to my son's call was the fact hubby and I have been discussing how poor the public educational system is in Florida. I think my son has overheard our conversations.

Anyway, the number my son called was to a cleaning company he got out of the yellow pages.