They say that pregnancy is supposed to be one of the most wonderful experiences in womanhood. Something about pregnancy makes a woman feel more alive, vibrant, feminine, beautiful. Her senses are awaken and her body and mind move to a new realm of sensuality.
......I don't feel any of this.....
I've never been so moody, cranky, sometimes depressed and sad. Then I find myself being overwhelmed with guilty, anger and confusion because I know I should feel so negative.
......It doesn't make senses.....
I love the man who gave me this child. There is nothing more precious than to see the excitement and joy in his eyes at knowing he will be a daddy. I can't deny that one of the most amazing things is seeing how much my son is so into this pregnancy. So why do I feel so blue?
.......This wasn't how I planned it......
We were talking about adoption. We were researching how to do that. My heart was so in it. I dreamt of a little Haitian boy or girl. How we would go to Haiti and fall inlove with a child and immediately upon seeing him or her we would know this was the child for us. Now our plans are on hold.
.......Learning to be patient......
It's a daily journey. Life sometimes takes you on a detour.