Ayes married now!

Yep it's true. Just as you see in the title of this post, June 14, 2007 is the date. It's been an interesting ride getting to this point. Making the decision to tie the knot didn't come easily for me. I'll admit to cold feet at one point. Life's issues can blindsight a person sometimes and for a minute I actually thought just "living" with this man I love was good enough.

However, after many long hard self examinations, thoughtful reviews of our relationship, tons of prayers and realizing co-existing can't work for us, it just made sense to get married. I love this man! But better still I really, really like him! Love is the essence, the foundation of a great relationship, but liking the person is what keeps the relationship fresh. Liking my husband is what keeps me coming back to him over and over even when we have our downtime. It's the likability of this man that has carried our relationship to where it is now and beyond. I have a few relatives that I love, but honestly they work my nerves and I really don't like them. I'd be there for them in a heartbeat if they needed me, but I could never hang around them and just shoot the breeze with them. They are very unlikable to me.

Don't get me wrong, liking a person isn't enough to sustain a marriage, just like loving a person doesn't make it either. There has to be a healthy balance of both.

Another thing that kinda helped push me over the broom was the fact that I don't like being labeled a single black mother who lives with her man. Again, don't get me wrong. The "single black mother" part wasn't the major issue. The "living with a man" part that had me a little concerned. When I was a single black mother I carried the title proudly. I had every reason to be proud. At one point, I worked 2 jobs, furthered my education and was a very involved, hands-on mother. I look back now on those days and wondered how I ever accomplished so much. I have MAD respect for single mothers who are doing their thing. So please don't take this statement as a put down on single black mothers or an admittance to shame at having been one.

The fact is the structure of our relationship required marriage or separation. Separation was out of the question. I didn't think that it was a good example for my son to see his mother living with a man. It was as if to say, I wasn't worth better than that. I even feared that at some point he may feel he was the reason we didn't get married because he isn't my husband's biological child. My son and my husband get along fabulously. It's such a blessing the beautiful bond they have and I didn't want to ruin that by not establishing a proper connection between all of us.

Life is good and it feels good to be married!

More musing from a rambling woman to continue....