HNY dear blog friends! Did 2012 arrive as unexpectedly for you as it did for me?? I swear I blinked and BAM! twenty-twelve appeared. Although, the new year came quite surprisingly fast, I'm sooo excited for this new year. I can't remember having this level of anticipation for any year as I have for 2012. Well, that's probably an understatement since nothing can top the level of excitement and anticipation I felt in the separate years my kids were born.

So here we are and I find myself at a huge crossroad and the direction I need to take is crystal clear. Although I have complete clarity as to where I am heading, the realization is bitter sweet. I have a couple of great opportunities ahead of me and when I ponder whether I should throw myself full throttle into these opportunities or try to maintain my blogging efforts, blogging seems to pale in comparison. It's not that I don't like blogging anymore, it's simply that my interests have changed - drastically. I supposed this has been the case for quite some time, but I was in denial about it. I made a miserable attempt to revive this blog and even thought if I shifted my interest to a new topic (hence my other blog) that I might regain my passion for blogging.


The truth is, I've run my course with blogging and I'm ready to move on. I've enjoyed sharing my family, my eclectic/eccentric thoughts and ideas, and and and... with you. Some of you have become close personal friends whom will continue to be my friends long after this blog is forgotten. The way you've opened your blogs to me and even the fact that some of you have invited me to contribute to your blogs and blogging projects, has been a complete honor. From the hormonal pregnant mom who started this blogging journey to the woman I am today, I can undeniably say the blogosphere has contributed to my growth to some degree.

I will leave this blog static for a time as I go through the many posts to see what I'd like to keep and dispose of. One day I'd like to pass this little piece of me on to my boys when then can appreciate it. 

Words cannot adequately express my gratitude that others would find my crazy writings worth a second glance, but I thank you, Thank You for the times that you stopped by. 

Farewell Quiskaeya, farewell. 

When I look at my posts over the 9-10 mos, I'm baffled - maybe even a little sad - at the lack of blogging I've done. I can literally count on one hand finger how many posts there are for this year, because the shocking number is a resounding ONE. After 3 1/2 years of strong, dedicated blogging, how I came to an abrupt halt with no warning, is beyond me. I really can't say what happened. If I had a touching, pull-at-your-heart-strings kinda story, it would completely justify being away for so long. But the honest truth is, I don't have one.
Ana Gazawi
Busy?
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Sure, I could blame it on being extra busy - which I am - but then when am I ever not extra busy. That's the story of my life. Single mom. Never enough time. Always playing catch up. What's new... Therefore, using busy-ness as my excuse just seems like a cop-out.
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Fodder? Ana Gazawi  Ana Gazawi  Ana Gazawi  Ana Gazawi  Ana Gazawi  Ana Gazawi  Ana Gazawi
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Oh definitely not that! My life is made for movies. I always have plenty of blog fodder. Paramount, Warner Bros., Touchstone - any of you elite production companies takers for recreating my life into a movie? I promise it's guaranteed to be blockbuster. HA!
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Life? Ana Gazawi  Ana Gazawi  Ana Gazawi  Ana Gazawi  Ana Gazawi  Ana Gazawi  Ana Gazawi
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Life surely keeps on happening (just like it's supposed to if you're breathing, God willing) and somehow, time manages to slip away much too fast. My plate is full, no doubt. Life, certainly keeps me on my toes, but despite all I have nothing to complain about. I'd rather have too much on my plate, than not enough. I seem to operate better when it's crunch time and the adrenaline level is high.
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So? Ana Gazawi  Ana Gazawi  Ana Gazawi  Ana Gazawi  Ana Gazawi  Ana Gazawi  Ana Gazawi
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What is the cause of my deficiency in blogging, asks you? Well...hmmm...I just seemed to have experienced a distinct lack of interest in it over my hiatus. Maybe, it was due to a bit of writer's block - which seems like a paradox since I never run out of stuff to write about. Case in point: my obnoxiously long run-on sentences. Hehehe ;-)
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Sorry. Ana Gazawi  Ana Gazawi  Ana Gazawi  Ana Gazawi  Ana Gazawi  Ana Gazawi  Ana Gazawi
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The truth is, what I'm most sorry about is that I abandonned your blogs. I miss you, I really do. I know that sounds sappy and all, but each of the blogs that I used to frequent added something uniquely "you" to my day. I couldn't wait to run to your blogs to find out what was the latest funny story, or thought provoking idea, or inspirational tale, or even the mundane, trivial things you spoke about, were interesting. I'm trying to get my blogging groove back. I can't promise that I'll be regular like I used to, at first. But hopefully, with some time I'll be back into the swing of things and getting all up in your blogging business. LOL.

Did you know that November is Adoption month? No? Yes, my lovely readers, it is. In light of that, this month I will showcase various tidbits from around the web that speak on adoption. I'm sure many of you have seen the Sesame Street video below - it's gone viral since its release. Who can blame it for becoming an instant sensation? The video's adorable character and catchy tune are simply irresistible. Beyond that, the message it conveys certainly is one that will resonates loudly with girls of color, since many of them struggle with the image of their hair.

While I find the video adorable in all it's bouncy, bubbly glory, I thirsted to know what prompted Sesame Street to create a video such as this - and now. Was it for viewership and to grapple at a broader audience? I'll admit the producers of Sesame Street have done a decent job at incorporating diversity in a good portion of their programming. However, even they have missed opportunities at times to be more inclusive of diversity. Therefore, I wondered if the timing of this video was intentional.



As it would happen, my investigation lead me to discover some information I hadn't expected to find. The creator of this video, Joey Mazzarino, is the head writer at Sesame Street. He and his wife, a Caucasian couple, adopted a beautiful Ethiopian girl.

In his own words, Mazzarino describes what inspired him to write the song. "She (his daughter) wanted to have long blond hair and straight hair, and she wanted to be able to bounce it around,"

Mazzarino began to worry that his daughter might be battling with the dynamics of being in a transracial adoption. However, he soon discovered that hair challenges & pressures are very deeply rooted in black community. In my opinion, I think Mazzarino should be commended for his work. However, I realize that controversy abounded as a result of this video. It appears that some people in the black community were offended that the Muppet's hair changed texture and had length in some of the scenes, thereby not resembling black hair in their opinion. They feel the message is conflicting in that it encourages black girls to love their hair, yet the Muppet sports hairstyles that would require them to straighten or purchase synthetic hair in order to have those styles.

::sniffles:: 19 weeks prego w/ my 2nd born

Oh the joy of knowing a baby is on the way. Certainly, preparing for baby can be an overwhelming experience, but dreaming about what this growing life two people have created will look like, overshadows any stress involved. There's a lot that goes into planning for baby. Family and friends need to be notified. Clothes, baby items and furniture must be bought. Co-sleeping? Bottle or breast? Baby-wearing? Home birth or Hospital birth? Cloth diapers or disposables? Phew - Just thinking about it wears me out and I'm not even expecting!

Nonetheless, there is one aspect of preparing for baby that might be the most daunting of all and that's naming the baby. Mom has her ideas and Dad has his. Then there are the family members and in-laws that often want to chime in. Should the child's name pay homage to a parent, grandparent or dear friend?   

The name game can take on an added facet when the couple is multicultural or even interracial. Should the name honor both heritages? Will there be a language or cultural barrier when non-English speaking family members try to embrace the name? These are valid concerns to think about and I know families confronted with this challenge. My own family dealt with this.

An aerial view of my super preggo 7mth belly. lol

Personally, I like names that I can mentally perceive being preceded by the title Dr.; or names that I envision being called out at an honorary award ceremony for the Pulitzer or Nobel Peace Prize. I like names that have a meaning and significance that I hope my children will embrace. Yea, I dream big for my boys, but what parent doesn't, hopefully. But I have to dream big for my boys. There are just too many negative images and sterotypes in the media with disparaging attitude toward minority boys (particularly black boys) it's practically as if society see boys as being doomed before they've even started. 

In a recent article on Madame Noire, the editor tackled the question of whether black parents are wrongly attacked for choosing ethnic names. In all honesty, some of the ethnic, reclaim our African roots, names some black parents choose for their children merit a raised eyebrow. I realize the black empowerment movement of the 60s that lead to many black parents opting for more Afro-centric names, was an effort to shed "slave" connotations and regain ethnic pride. I get all that. However, personally I'm not on that bandwagon that feels we need to go back to Africa to gain pride and purpose. Quite frankly, Africans aren't thinking about us and rightfully so. It's high time blacks in the western hemisphere started concentrating on what we have on this side of the globe and work harder to build on that. ::stepping off soapbox and setting down mic::  

Coming back around from that tangent I went on, when I encounter names like Bacardi for a boy or Taquila for a girl, I'm left scratching my head. What was this black parent thinking when they named their child? Was the child named in remembrance of a night of too much alcohol and wild times? ::shakes head and chuckles::

I remember reading an article about baby names shortly after President Obama took office. There was a surge in black parents naming their children Barack. Was it whimiscal thinking to believe that if President Obama could achieve the most prestigious position in the land with his name, that all children will have the same success? I really don't know...

I'm seeing future surgeons or world leaders right here!

However, Msnbc.com reported that MIT and the University of Chicago found that job applicants with names that sounded ethnic got overlooked when it came to the hiring process. The researchers sent out 5,000 fake resumes, and it turned out that resumes with African American names such as Tyrone and Tamika were less likely to get calls from prospective employers than their Anglo-sounding counterparts, and qualifications seemed to have little impact. Some studies have shown that ethnic names have as high as 50% less callback rate than "white" sounding names.

Here a list of some of the names that potentially receive discriminate responses by potential employers:

Girls: Aisha, Keisha, Tamika, Lakisha, Tanisha, Latoya, Kenya, Latonya and Ebony
Boy: Rasheed, Tremayne, Kareem, Darnell, Tyrone, Hakim, Jamal, Leroy, Jermaine

Here's a list of some of the names that receive the highest responses:


Girls: Emily, Anne, Jill, Allison, Laurie, Sarah, Meredith, Carrie, Kristen,
Boys: Todd, Neil, Geoffrey, Brett, Brendan, Greg, Matthew, Jay, Brad

I don't know if my kids' names will be a stumbling block or a door opener to opportunities for them. In my mind's eye I see my kids doing great things when they're adults. I'm claiming it for them and I try  my best to nurture a successful attitude in them. But truly at the end of the day, regardless of their names, I just want them to be happy confident, happy individual, with good values.  

The beginning of my loc journey. Look at my 2ndborn he was 1 mth. Little chunker!

I gave up the creamy crack about 12-13 years ago. It was the beginning of my hair evolution. I stress hair evolution because at the time, some people accused me of having a hair revolution, which wasn't my intention at all. I understand there are some hair naturalistas that can become pretty militant about going natural. If you aren't using shea butter, bees wax or any other similar earthy product, then you're using processed products and therefore your hair has been chemically altered and it really isn't natural anymore. Yep, some naturalistas are really that anal; it's a cardinal sin in their natural hair Bible. 

A year and a half later my locs were getting long.

On that same token, I have been subjected to ridicule by some of my perming sisters that act as though going natural is a  revolutionary stance. Personally, I stopped perming my hair because I had become a semi crunchy, pale green kinda girl and natural hair fit right into that lifestyle. I'm not a hardcore crunchy, but it's definitely important to me. I used to talk about it all the time over here, but I'm thinking of starting a separate blog for my crunchy talk. When I first went au naturale, I mainly twisted my hair at night and then kept it free in the day. Two years ago I decided to loc my hair. Since I'm a girl who likes to switch it up ever few years, this past summer I took a locing break and had my hair in braids. Now, I'm thinking of trying sisterlocs.

I'm all about simple and worry-free hairstyles since I hate to fuss with my hair. Natural hair has afforded me a certain level of freedom that permed hair didn't. I remember in the early years of going natural some of the crazy reactions I received from some friends & family. Oh boy!

Why did you cut off your hair? You have such naturally long hair!

My final loc pic. I cut them off in July. I think I'll try sisterlocs.

Girl are you joining that natural hair revolutionary movement - power to the black women stuff? (This was asked in a joking way, but still it was irritating)



Have you become a rastafarian? (These types of questions came when I started loc-ing my hair)

I can laugh about it now because I've grown very comfortable with my natural hair. I remember a time when I would walk into a room with black women and my hair would seem to say to them "I'm a militant black woman!". I felt as though I had joined the black panthers of natural hair. It's crazy the hair wars in our community. Black women go natural for different reasons. For some it's a sign of wanting to go against the status-quo (the hair revolutionist); for other women it's because of bad experiences with perming and still others go natural because it's becoming a trendy thing to do. However, I feel the vast majority of women who go natural do so for the simplicity and the ease of managing natural hair.

I had braids over the summer. It was a nice change.

Once a woman gets the hang of maintaining her natural tresses it's one of the most liberating experiences (at least in my case - others may beg to differ). I love that I can wash my hair as many or as few times as I want and keep it moving. No need to sit for hours under the drier and as a matter of fact air blown hair is healthier on natural hair anyway. Often times a simple morning conditioning rinse, along with a light touch of olive and/or coconut oil is all I need to get my hair looking ready for the day. If I want more defined curls I'll opt for a deep conditioning and rinse; followed by massaging a decent amount of  Curls Goddess Glaze (CGG)or Miss Jessie's Stretch Silkening Creme (MJSSC) and then I'll twist my hair. If I want serious definition in my curls I'll leave the twist in for 2 days and then untwist my hair, followed by a light touch of CGG or MJSSC and I am good to go! Love it!

Seriously, I could never go back to permed hair - ever. I realize natural hair isn't for every black woman. But in my opinion natural hair really isn't that deep, so I'm not sure why all the crazy reactions to it. You do you and I'll do me, is the way I see it. It's that simple. And as for me, I fully intend to keep on being a naturalista.

I was reading an article on Reuter.com that asked should parents friend their kids on facebook. Ummm yeah! It amazes me that anyone would even question this. Some of the parents in the article actually had uncertain feelings about invading their children's privacy. I'm probably old-fashioned in my thinking, but I think that children should be given limited (very limited) privacy rights when they are young that increase as they show themselves to be responsible and mature.

Last year my 9yo asked me to open a facebook account for him. He was 8 at the time and I couldn't fathom why an 8 yo should be on facebook. Later, I found out some of his classmates had facebook accounts and this is why he was asking for one. This year his dad opened an account for him, much to my chagrin. While I still think that he's too young to have an account, it's worked out well. Why? Firstly, I am on his friend list and secondly, because I am ALL OVER his activities on facebook.  Yes, I repeat All.Over.His.Activities.

His account is linked to my cell phone so I'm notified of everything that happens on his account and I can hop onto it anytime I want to check on things. We do not allow him to accept or invite friends. Currently, only  family friends or family members are allowed as friends and not all of them can see everything on his account (e.g. some can't see pictures). We already had an internet usage rule that we set up for him and facebook goes right into that plan. He can't use the computer without permission and the computer he uses has parental securities so he's only allowed to visit certain sites. So far everything has been good and he only uses facebook to play games with his FB friends.

I realize that the boundaries we have in place for my 9yo are very rigid and strict. However, even if my son was 13, 14 or an older teen, I would still put some restrictions on him. I am sure that when he's 16 he'll be more responsible than when he's 13, so I believe restrictions should fit the child's maturity level.  Nonetheless, whether he is 17yo or 9 yo I would still expect to be a friend on his list. The bottom line is that children need guidance and age appropriate boundaries no matter how old they are. When it comes to internet predators, they've managed to find a way to prey on children of all ages. While my child might want to be on facebook for innocent reasons, it's unfortunate that predators can take lighthearted activities and turn them into an opportunity to violate our children.