Breathe It. Believe It. Claim It.

The Original Execumama has a post up about stating your flashforward 6 months from now. If, you are scratching your head and wondering what exactly a flashforward is, do not feel you are alone. I have to admit I probably was the 1 in 1,145,533 persons who didn't know about ABC's hit series by the same name. In case you hadn't noticed I'm a Mother of 2 very active and rambunctious boys. Where exactly is there time for frivolous acts, like watching new hit shows? Ha! That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.

The crux of Execumama's brillantly written post is to challenge all of us to look into our future 6 months for now and to release our flashforward. Where do you see yourself in 6 months? More importantly, where do you want to be in 6 months? I totally love the concept of freeing ourselves from our inhibitions, fears and the nuances of life to allow ourselves to dream of the future. I'm not referring to the type of dreaming that brings about self pity. Don't start downing yourself for not being farther along in life or don't conjure up in your mind false illusions that will never materialize. Declaring your flashforward is an invitation to what I call breathe, believe, and claim your destiny.

Take a moment out in your day to envision yourself doing, being and living what you purpose your life to be in the next 6 months. Once you know beyond a shadow of a doubt where you would like to be, let that aspiration be air to your psyche. Inhale it in deep breaths, exciting you and giving you life. Just like our bodies need oxygen to live, so to do our spirits need ambitions and goals to thrive.

Believe in yourself and your ability to accomplish your dream. If you have to, stand in front of a mirror and exclaim to yourself that you can do whatever it is you desire to do. Tell yourself despite what happens around you, that you will commit and resolve to reach your goal. Write your mission on the frig, on the vanity in your bedroom, on the steering wheel of your car...write it anywhere, but write it somewhere so that you have a visual. Do whatever you need to do to grow the faith in yourself that you can do it.

Finally, claim victory on achieving your dream. The dream is already yours. You simply need to reach for it. I really hope that you take the challenge to breathe, believe and claim your flashforward.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11

Day 3 & 4 of Weaning

Saturday:
Switching to day weaning was definitely a good idea. Saturday, we were out and about so much that Tar didn't even care to nurse. From the beach to trick or treating at a local strip mall (cheezy, I know...lol), he was kept very occupied with the day's events. That night he was exhausted. He nursed and quickly fell asleep. He stayed sleeping for a few hours and then it was back to the usually waking up every 2 to 2 1/2 hours or so. Thank goodness for the time switch. I got an extra hour to sleep in. Tar's internal clock woke him up promptly on his usual schedule, but having an older child is a blessing. Tiger is a gem of an older brother and he entertained him and got him snacks until I finally dragged myself out of bed.

Sunday:
After dragging myself out of bed, I got breakfast on the table and then it was time to get ready for church. We go to the 10:15am service that usually ends around 12pm - 12:15ish. Service was da domb, as usual! We went home, I got the kiddos fed and then it was nap time for Tar. It was about 1:30pm by this time. I contemplated on whether or not I should nurse him for nap time and decided I would, but that would be the last one until bedtime that night.

About 45 minutes into napping he woke up fussing. He was clearly still tired and wanted to be nursed back to sleep. I put on my game face and went to get him to rock him back to sleep. He wasn't having it. He started with the whimpering, that quickly turned into screaming that eventually ended in him starting to choke on his tears. I realized he was not going to go back to sleep so I decided the important thing to do was to calm him down. We went out on the porch that over looks a little pond and fountain. He loves looking over the pond and within a few minutes he had calmed down.

I explained to him that nursing was only going to be for "night, night". We talked about how Daddy and bro-bro don't nurse because they are big boys. He listened quietly and I wondered if he understood what I told him. I gave him hug and held him close. After a little while he broke from my grip and said "Night, night? Okay Mama. No daddy? No bow-bow?" The look on his face nearly broke my heart. Not to mention his face was puffy and red from all the crying he had been doing. It seriously made me want to cry. Partly, because I don't like seeing him like this and partly because I'm battling the feelings that he's growing up and I won't get to nurse him for very much longer. I know some will wonder why I'm doing it, if I don't have too, especially since I believe in self weaning. Again, I really think his lack of sleep and mine for that matter is a serious enough reason to go against my sentiment. I told him he was a good boy and then we went in. A few times that afternoon he asked to be nursed and I told him "Night, Night," and then he would pause for a moment and start doing something else. He didn't fuss or fight about it, which really surprised me. I took the boys to the park for a few hours and by the time we got home it was time for bathing, dinner and then bed. All in all I thought we made some small but necessary steps.

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Sha~Dou!

Day 2 of Weaning

I have to make this quick because we are off to bum on the beach! Trust me when I say this little outing is MUCH deserved. Last night was H. E. Double Hockey Sticks! I figured it was going to be, but actually living it is another thing. Tar went to sleep around 9:30pm and woke up around 11ish. I didn't check the clock for the exact time, but I know it was after 11pm.

My game plan was to wean him from 11pm - 7am just as this article stated to do. I was able to get Tar back to sleep sans nursing. Surprised and happy I thought the rest of the night would be without issue. WRONG. He woke up again at 1am. From 1-3am he screamed and fought all attempts I made to get him to sleep on his own. Finally, when both of us were totally exhausted, I gave in and nursed him. I know. Not good. But I couldn't take it anymore. Plus I wasn't operating on much sleep myself, considering the night before I hadn't slept much. Anyway, he did go back to sleep for about 2 hours and I think I nursed him 2 more times after that. Honestly, the rest of the night was a blur.

After recounting all this with the hubs (who btw is totally for weaning him) he said maybe I should switch to weaning him in the day, when I can distract him better. I think I want to try that. I hate to see Tar crying, period. But seeing him screaming in the middle of the night is too much for me. Furthermore, it concerns me that the neighbors might start wondering what's going on. I suppose I could forewarn them, but I just don't feel like broadcasting this to the neighbors. Lol - although I'll broadcast it over the internet.

On other positive news, our Christmas plans are finalized. I. Love. Christmas. The decorating, the meals, family time, going to church, gift exchange...the whole shabang! We like to keep our plans small for Christmas. Thanksgiving, we'll usually hang out with other relatives for the big Thanksgiving feast. But not for Christmas. We do our own small personal celebration just the hubs, the kids and I. This year is no different and I can't wait. Tar is older so I think he'll be into it a lot more than last year. We have our tickets to the Fort Lauderdale Christmas Pageant. It's the first year we were able to get tickets that weren't way up in the balcony practically 3 miles from the stage! lol I ordered them early. The show is pretty extravagant, but well worth the experience. I'm totally stoked and excited!

Anyway, have a great weekend and see you on the other side.

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Sha~Dou!

Day 1 of Weaning

After posting about my pregnancy woes I immediately went into research mode. As always I turned to my trusty source, Dr. Google. He was not to let me down and I found a phelethora of information regarding ways to wean, how it effects toddlers, reasons for or against initiated weaning etc. Despite the overload of information, I still couldn't decide if I should wean Tar or if I should stick it out.

Honestly, I was battling the feelings of being a failure at breastfeeding or somehow that I will shortchanged Tar of the breastfeeding experience if I decided to go ahead and wean him. I know it might sound ridiculous that I would feel this way since I've been breastfeeding him his entire 22 month old life. However, I had always assumed Tar would self-wean just like his older brother. This struggle brought home again a much needed reminder that ALL children are different and that parenting is about the child and not the method.

I decided to hop onto twitter and see if I could find support there. Well folks, I had no idea what was in store for me. It is here my journey to weaning Tar began, however I had no idea of this when I wrote my first tweet. So, brace yourself readers (actually I'M the one that needs all the bracing) because this is about to be a crazy ride. I've decided for my own self-therapy and also so that it might help others who might be going through this, to share my weaning adventure. Daily, I will be posting about the process. It might be emotional, it might be funny, it might be incredibly boring... I have no way to forewarn you on how it will play out because it will be LIVE and raw. lol

In the midst of sharing my experience I will give you excerpts of my tweeting conversations. I stole borrowed this cute idea from Jennifer over at Babymakin(g) Machine. hee! *Disclaimer: You all know I'm the typo Queen so expect typos and many of them in my tweets*

(My first tweet - October 29)

After a lengthy conversation on twitter with mainly @that_danielle and @Blacktating I again turned back to the internet to read up and study on weaning. However, this time I was well equipped with sites to visit, articles to read and most importantly encouragement that I am not alone in what I am dealing with. It appears that Tar's breastfeeding habits are common among a lot of breastfeeding bebes who are raised in the family bed. So my lovelies after much thought, reading and rereading this article and educating myself on the Pantley Pull-Off method, I've decided to go full throttle into weaning my baby, starting tonight.

All of yesterday my mind was pretty much consumed with the task at hand. Last night I was sleepless in S. Florida. Ugh. I don't think I got more than 2 hrs sleep AND I was toddlerless. Go figure. I has having major nerves about the whole process and knowing how it's going to affect Tar in the beginning. But today I feel a little better (a little). If anyone has thoughts to share on this process, please share them. I would love to find a storybook for kids about this. He loves for me to read him books at night and I think it would be a help to read him a story about a Mama preparing her child for weaning.

Breastfeeding Woes

Tar and I are trudging along in our breastfeeding journey. Lately, it seriously has become a laborious adventure. Our major snag seems to be that he hasn't developed a consistent and productive sleeping pattern. Of course what this means for ME, is that no proper sleep for him means NO proper sleep for me. See the emphasis on how it affects me? Did you catch that? lol

What puzzles me about this situation is that he seems to only have sleeping issues when he is sleeping with me. When he is at his Dad's house he sleeps like a rock. At least that is what the hubs says. Take last night for instance, Tar was up 6 times (yes people, SIX times) wanting to nurse. He didn't nurse a few minutes, it's as if he nursed for hours. I had to literally stop him from nursing so that I could shift my position because my body started aching from being in that position for so long. I'll admit that last night's feeding schedule was even a bit excessive for him. This seems absolutely ridiculous and insane that I would be dealing with these type of issues with a 22 month old.

Shouldn't he be following a healthy sleeping pattern by now? When he is home with me he will nurse all day long. It doesn't seem to affect his eating habits because he'll still eat table food when served. However, but I don't understand what he wants to nurse so much. In a given day I'd guesstimate that he nurses 5 or 6 times and then he'll probably nurse an additional 3 times after he goes to sleep at night.

I am a believer in gentle weaning and/or self weaning when possible. This situation seems to ebb and flow. Up until about a month ago things were getting better and it wasn't such a problem. However, about 4-5 months ago we were going through a similar situation as we are now and he started increasing how many times he was waking up to nurse. I got frustrated at that time and tried to wean him. It end up being a disaster. He wailed and wailed each time I tried to use other methods to get him to sleep. I tried every method I read about to prepare him for gentle weaning and the results were a complete failure. I gave up and went back to nursing. I'm not good at letting him cry himself to sleep and I couldn't pound the floors at night with him because I was working at that time.

I'm at a loss. I'm going to his pedi to confirm he doesn't have any ear infections and then I'm going to speak to a lactation specialist. I am just curious if anyone has ever dealt with these breastfeeding and sleeping concerns in a toddler. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated

Blogged with the Flock Browser

What's In A Name?

You are lazily strolling through blogosphere in search of a good read and happen upon a blog titled Our Black Children or A Jewish Mom's Blog or Tales of Married Latino Couples.** Would you stop and read the blog even if you aren't of the ethnic persuasion named in the blog title? Seriously, would you? Ha! Did I just put you on the spot or what, eh? Don't hold back, I'd love to hear your honest thoughts.

This topic has been surfacing quite a bit lately in blogdom and I have been a part of a few of the discussions. How the conversation even began was at a session at BlogHer. I didn't attend Blogher, but I was told about the conversation. It appears the topic was raised that some bloggers feel unwelcome to visit blogs that identify a race in the title. It is my understanding that it was implied that bloggers should refrain from doing this to avoid isolating their blogs. Of course, this made me wonder if these same people would equally feel unwelcome about pictures in headers that identify a race. Would they feel isolated by a weird ethnically named blog like, Quiskaeya (lol). Hey, just saying...

Fair is fair. If I'm going to put you on the spot then the least I can do is give you my honest thoughts. Before I do, let me address a question that I get emailed a lot. People want to know how to pronounce my blog name. It's pronounced kis-kay-ya. The pronunciation is simply but it looks very confusing.

Blogs with unusual ethnic names or names that target a specific race in my opinion are doing one of two things; and in some cases they maybe doing both. Firstly, they may be reaching out to a specific audience that can relate to the blog name or secondly, they are potentially making a connection to their background or past. In regards to my blog name, Quiskaeya, I was doing the latter. The name Quiskaeya has a personal and special meaning to me because of the history of this name. In this blog I talk often of my past, my family, my views and a lot of the things I cherish. I wanted to connect those things all under one name and hence, why decided on the name Quiskaeya.

All this being said, when I see a blog with a very specific name, particularly with a racial profile in the title, it is saying to me that the author of the blog is targeting people of that racial group. I don't see anything wrong with this. All of us like community, camaraderie, a place we can feel safe to express ourselves and a place we feel is home. Blogs have become that place for some people where they can find likeness and oneness. Therefore, naming a blog something very specific so that a blogger can reach the community they desire, is perfectly normal. We do this in everyday life. We join various groups, clubs, organization, etc all in an effort to surround ourselves with common people.

I agree that naming a blog in this manner does run the risk of isolating some people. I think it would be a bit nonsensical for the author of such a blog to wonder why bloggers that don't fit the profile might feel hesitant to join in on the discussions. Then again, if you are like me I enjoy reading blogs from varying point of views. A few of my favorite blogs are from bloggers from other races, cultures, countries, religions etc. Seeing life from another person's world view can be extremely eye-opening.

I think it comes down to why a person reads blogs. Are they traveling the blogworld to broaden their perspective and peak into another world they might not otherwise have exposure to? Or are they looking for their niche, their clique and the people who can "feel them"? Personally, I don't see either as being wrong. To each his own. Come at me folks, what say you?

Resources: google images

**Disclaimer: As far as I am aware there are no blogs by these names. If for any reason there are blogs by these names or at a later date some blogs are named the same names or similarly to the above referenced blog names, it was not my intention to speak specifically regarding these blogs.

Look At Me Counting!

I look at my nearly 24 month old (he'll be 2yo in December) and I am amazed how much Tar is learning and growing. Someone pinch me please! Wasn't he just born and minute ago?? It sure seems like it sometimes. He is doing so well with his numbers and letters. Just this morning he gave me the shock of all shocks when he identified that something was a circular shape.

He was eating a tostados, which is a round corn tortilla. He repeated several times, "Look Mommy! A circle." We were on the way to daycare and I was listening to the radio so at first I wasn't paying him any attention. Finally, I looked in the rear view mirror. He had the tostados out in front of him and again he said, "Look Mommy! A circle!" I was impressed, to say the least. I didn't know he recognized his shapes. On a daily basis I am taken by surprised at what he knows. It's so much fun watching him learn and grow. Here is a video taken about a month ago of him counting. The video is really grainy because my poor camera was on the brink of death. It's so cute how he says eight! Sometimes it sounds like "H".